


All My Tears Have Been Used Up

by cartouche



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Loads of Angst, M/M, Poor Q, angsty early morning drabbles, look its 5am don't judge me, major angst, warning: sadness ahead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 17:07:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1135246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cartouche/pseuds/cartouche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of all the times Q had said goodbye to 007, sending him off to distant, exotic corners of the world to fight another insane terrorist or genocidal maniac, this hurt the most.</p><p>--</p><p>Nothing lasts forever, not even James Bond, and Q has to learn the hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All My Tears Have Been Used Up

Of all the times Q had said goodbye to 007, sending him off to distant, exotic corners of the world to fight another insane terrorist or genocidal maniac, this hurt the most.

Of all the times Q had watched a red dot on his map blink out and listened to the deafening crackle of silence through his comms and truly believed James Bond, international man of mystery, was dead, this one hurt the most. 

Of all the times Q had vacuumed at 3 in the morning, unable to think or sleep or do anything until he knew that his Double-Oh was safe and not lying bleeding out on some foreign soil, this hurt the most. 

Because this time there would be no resurrection, no charming smirk as he appeared in Q's flat, no wounds to patch up and debriefs to be made. 

Apparently no one could out run death forever. Not even James bloody Bond. 

'Q?' The whisper is faint but it's there, of course it is and he carefully slides the chair closer and laces his fingers through a cold, bony hand, so different to the large, warm callouses he was half expecting. His glasses slide down his nose. He smiles weakly. James always did hate his glasses. 

'Yes James?' 

'You didn't have to come. What will MI6 do with out you?' There's a familiar quirk of lips and Q feels something dangerously close to love course through him. 

'I'm sure it will be stil be standing when I get back. Just.' A breathless laugh echoes out, slowly transforming into a hacking cough and Q raises a cup to his dry lips and avoids the disapproving stare of the nurse outside the door. Eventually he settles, and Q helps him stubbornly sit up, fragile and breakable. Q always thought that was his job. He blinks and focuses on those blue, blue eyes, that haven't dulled despite the years, still as sharp and piercing as ever. 

'So this is it hm? How it ends. I always thought I'd go at the hands of a sadistic mass murderer, maybe in a pit of crocodiles or Komodo dragons. This seems ... terribly anticlimatic in comparison.' Q smiles again but its more just a pull of muscles. 

'Ignominiously hauled away for scrap.' James smiles again, a genuine 007 smile, and closes his eyes. Q knows what he's thinking about, doesn't have to enquire to know he's back at the National Gallery, sitting in front of the Turner next to a skinny boy with dark hair and a too big parka. 'They instated a new 007 today.' He doesn't know why he says it, dragging James out of his reverie.

'A bit premature.' Q would hit him if he could, but he settles for an eye roll. 'Any good?'

'A bit bland but blends in well I suppose. I don't expect he'll last long.'

'I did.'

'He's not you.' And none of them ever will be, he thinks bitterly. A cold hand shifts and wraps itself a little tighter around his. 

'I've had a good run Q, I wouldn't do anything different, anything, even if I could do this again.' Q nods, shakily and blinks furiously and he knows he's probably bruised his hand but James doesn't flinch. 'Remember what Mallory said,' Mallory. They buried him a few years ago, another victim of working himself into the grave. Life expectancy at MI6 was not high. 'How many agents get out alive? Get to have a retirement? I'm one of the lucky ones Q.' 

He wants to cry. He want to sit here on an uncomfortable hospital chair and weep like a child in front of the only man he's ever loved. He wants to bloody sob and wail and never stop. He wants to cry until he dies of dehydration or something ridiculous because he can't stand to see him like this, James Bond, 007, lying in a hospital bed as his own body betrays him. 

A single tear slips over his lashes and dribbles pathetically down his cheek. A shaky finger, cold as ice, brushes it away. 

The bleeping of his phone interupts the steady, constant blip of the heart rate moniter and he slips it out of his pocket reluctantly. Crisis. The plan to stop the Greenland oil deal from going ahead has gone cocks up as always and Q is needed to save the day. He looks at James apologetically but he just wheezes out another laugh and shoos him from the room with a final cold dry kiss that tastes of lemon disinfectant and paper towels. 

'What did I say? They'd all kill themselves with out you. Go and save them, Quartermaster. And bring me some proper food when you come back, I'm sick of eating off of a tray.' Q shakes his head and makes his way to the door. 

'How does Thai sound?' 

'It's a date.' 

'You'd better be here.'

'Where else will I be, you know the nurses have stopped letting me out after I escaped!' 

'I love you James.'

'I love you Q.' And as cheesy as it sounds, Q believes it whole heartedly.

James Bond, _the_ 007, _his_ 007, is dead before he's back at SIS, a smile still on his lips. The Thai goes cold on their kitchen table.

\--

_This is the end._  
 _Close your eyes and count to ten._  
 _Feel the earth move and then_  
 _Hear my heart burst again_

**Author's Note:**

> Here, have some good old fashioned angst to brighten your day.
> 
> I'm sorry, I'm really and truly sorry. One day I won't inflict my own issues on characters but that day is not today. 
> 
> Title is from Tom Odell's Another Love
> 
> Comments are always appreciated, thank you for reading :)


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